Remember, It’s You I Love: Operation Pink Knight Read online

  He glanced up from his notes, and said, “You can’t love someone out of gratitude, Aidan, it’s not sustainable.”

  She looked at him as if he were crazy, then realized what he was saying, “Oh, no doc, you got it all wrong. I love Vicky with all my heart because she completes me, she makes me want to be a better person. A person she can trust and always rely on. I can’t go five minutes without thinking about her, texting her, or calling her.”

  “Then why not let the government go after Samantha?”

  “Because they’ve had a fucking year, and she’s still over there.”

  “So then, it’s all up to you?”

  “Yeah,” she replied with false bravado, “yes it is.”

  “Then tell Victoria.” To him it was as simple as black and white, but to Aidan it was more frightening than war. She stood up and began to pace.

  “I…, I don’t think I can. I’m afraid she won’t understand, and she won’t support me in this, or maybe she’ll forbid me to go? Will she hate me, if I go? Will I hate myself, if I go?” Aidan finally took a breath, and raked her fingers through her hair.

  He watched her struggle with her concerns for a moment, and then asked, “And will you hate yourself, if you don’t go? Listen, Aidan, for one thing, you are deciding how Victoria feels, without asking her first. That’s not fair to her. And you’re not allowing yourself to consider that you might still have feelings for Samantha. That’s not fair to any of you.”

  She shifted nervously in her chair, the realization flashing across her face. He’s right, I can’t live with the thought of leaving Sam there with those bastards, but I can’t do this without Vicky’s support.

  Dr. Kline recognized the relax posture Aidan had taken, and knew she had made her decision.

  “Aidan, keep me in the loop on this, and let me know if I can be of any help to you. And please, please be careful. This is a very thin tightrope you’re balancing yourself on. Understand?”

  He’s referring to Vicky, “Understood.”

  ***

  “SPC Williams, are your DD214 documents in order?”

  U.S. Army Specialist Gerald Williams, Jerry to his friends, smiled at the Sergeant, which was not the proper response, but he just couldn’t resist it on his last day in the military.

  “Yes, Staff Sergeant.”

  He smoothed his coat down, and adjusted his medals, including the Purple Heart, awarded to him when he was injured in an attack, on his unit in Iraq. The same attack where Aidan saved his life. It was his wound from that attack, that got him transferred to a desk job. He hated it, and since his tour was up, he opted not to re-enlist.

  “SPC Williams, you are officially, honorably, discharged from the United States Army.”

  The two men snapped to attention, and saluted.

  “Could I buy you a beer, Staff Sergeant?”

  “An excellent way to start your new life, Mr. Williams.” He slapped Jerry on the back, and the two walked out the door together, “So what are you going to do now?”

  “I’m going to propose to my girl, and get a job to support her.”

  “You have a girlfriend? You’ve never spoken of her, so I just assumed…”

  “Now that I’m officially a civilian again, I can confess, I have a girlfriend, and she’s a real looker too.”

  It was later, after the two men, joined by several of Jerry’s buddies, had a boilermaker contest, that Jerry let slip he was only getting married because of an arranged marriage by his mother. It wasn’t something he was happy about, but he had no choice in the matter. He passed out before he could explain why.

  ***

  That afternoon, as Aidan and Vicky drove back to Vicky’s house, Aidan was unusually quiet. After talking with Dr. Kline, she was even more nervous than before, because she was afraid of how Vicky would react to learning that she already had a fiancée. It was not something she had ever contemplated before now, but then, she never expected to see Vicky again, when she asked Samantha to marry her.

  As soon as they arrived back at Vicky’s house, Aidan went into the bedroom, and brought out the shoebox full of letters, that she had written to Vicky over the years. They had read most of them, but Aidan had a particular one in mind that she wanted to share with Vicky.

  Vicky called to her from the kitchen, “Honey, want a beer?”

  “That would be great, thanks.”

  Aidan pulled off her boots and sat on the couch, her long legs folded under her. She sat the box in front of her, just as Vicky handed her the beer, then sat her glass of wine on the ottoman, and kicked her shoes off as well. She sat facing Aidan, but looking at the box.

  “You don’t know how bad I wish your mother had given these letters to you when I wrote them, instead of hiding them from you.” Aidan reached into the shoebox full of letters, and pulled out an unopened letter. “And you don’t know how bad I wish I hadn’t lost my memory in Iraq. I mean, if I had known you were waiting for me all this time, I, uh…”

  Aidan and Vicky had been neighbors since elementary school, but when Aidan was fourteen, she ran away from home the night of Vicky’s thirteenth birthday. She was trying to shield Vicky from her mother’s wrath, when the two were caught necking by her, in the backyard treehouse. Though Aidan wrote to her best friend every chance she got, Vicky’s mother interceded them, leaving Vicky to wonder what had happened to Aidan, and Aidan to wonder why Vicky wouldn’t write back. It was only a few months ago, as fate would have it, that they found each other again.

  “Aidan?”

  “This was the last letter I wrote to you.” Aidan’s hands shook as she began to read:

  Dear Vicky,

  Since I haven’t heard from you in all these years, this probably won’t matter to you anyway. But, I felt obligated to write one last time and tell you, that you will always be my best friend, and my first love, but it’s time for me to let you go.

  It took me a lot of years, mostly because the Army kept us apart for so much of our relationship, but I have finally asked Sam to marry me and she said yes! So I guess…, this is goodbye. Please take care of yourself, kid.

  Aidan

  Aidan looked at Vicky, hoping to see that she comprehended what she was saying, but Vicky’s face was creased in pain, her eyes switched back and forth, as her brain tried hard not to go where her heart had just leaped.

  “What… what does this mean, Aidan? I don’t understand, I…” Vicky moved away from her, trying to make sense of what her lover wasn’t saying. They had read most of the letters over the past few weeks, but Aidan had skipped to the last one. What is she trying to say? That she loves that person? That she wants to marry her, instead of me? Oh God, no, this can’t be happening!

  Had it just been yesterday, that Aidan proposed to Vicky? A stylish, valiant proposal in front of family and friends, in the same room where Aidan had just been presented with two of the highest honors the United States can bestow on a person. The Medal of Freedom and the Medal of Honor, for bravery above and beyond the call of duty. Still dressed in full uniform, wearing those shiny new medals, Aidan got down on one knee, and proposed to Vicky, and Vicky said yes, to her best friend, her lover, the other half of her soul. The half that had just been ripped from her arms.

  Vicky began to tear up, fear choking her ability to reason. “Why did you propose to me yesterday if…”

  “Vicky…, baby, please look at me.”

  But she couldn’t bring herself to look at Aidan. She was dizzy with shock, and needed all her concentration to keep her stomach from betraying her. “I think I’m going to be sick.” She clasped her mouth, as if to stop that from happening.

  “Please, baby?”

  Vicky stood up, and walked to the window to calm her nerves, but it wasn’t the view she was looking at, it was her engagement ring, “Why did you choose that particular letter, Aidan?”

  “Because I need to tell you something.”

  Oh God, here it is. Just tell me damn it!

  C
hapter 2

  The early evening dinner rush was winding down. Patrons had cleaned their plates of their overpriced dinners, and now sat chattering away, over the din of the restaurant noise. Outside, on the veranda, enjoying the cool evening breeze, were more patrons, having appetizers and after work cocktails.

  “I’m too old.”

  “Oh, for God’s sake, you are not. What makes you say that?”

  “Because I can’t see the forest anymore.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “The damn trees keep getting in the way.”

  “Is everything a joke to you?”

  “You’re the shrink, you tell me.”

  Sally straightened up in her chair, pushed her empty bowl of tortilla chips to the side, took another sip of her whisky sour, and then quipped, “All right, but you asked for it.”

  “Uh, remember, I haven’t paid you for this session yet, so be gentle.”

  “Ruth, you have never paid me for my time, in the thirty years we’ve been friends, so shut up and listen. I’m going in with both barrels blazing. You feel old because you’re lonely. You’re lonely because you hide behind your weird since of humor. You hide because you’re afraid. You’re afraid because you don’t know who you are. You don’t know who you are because…?”

  “Because what? Go on, you’re on a role.”

  “Ruth. Do you find men attractive?”

  “Sure, some of them can be really gorgeous.”

  “You mean like my husband, George. A gorgeous hunk of a man, who swept me off my feet, nearly thirty years ago, and—”

  “Yeah‒yeah. I’ve heard this story a thousand times already. Come up with something new, for a change.”

  Undaunted, Sally did as she was asked. “Okay then. What about women? Do you find them attractive?”

  “I guess so. I mean, you’re attractive.”

  “Well thank you, but that’s not what I meant. Do you find them physically appealing? Do you catch yourself wanting to run your fingers through their hair, or up their arm, or under their breast?”

  “Whoa now!”

  “Look, it’s just you and me here. It’s about damn time you face yourself in that mirror, and admit it. I’ve known since the minute I met you.”

  “You… you have? Uh, I mean, known what?”

  “You were brought up by parents who didn’t even know what a lesbian was. But society at that time, dictated that it was unacceptable, and so your parents put that fear in you. You worked for twenty years in a place that would fire you the second you came out, so you stayed hidden in the closet, in order to stay employed. Then for your next career, you worked from home, where you made your fortune sure, but I was the only one you socialized with. And no, you can’t count socializing with your two husbands. They were worthless human beings.”

  “You’re right about that. Both of them put together couldn’t match up to your husband of thirty years.”

  “I can’t decide if you’re complimenting me or trying to be funny again. Anyway, you niece is the CEO of the largest health system around here, for God’s sake, and she has never hidden the fact she’s a lesbian. Look around you, Ruth. Even Arkansas is coming around. Albeit, slow as molasses in winter, but we may see same sex marriages in our life time. Now is the perfect time to come out of that closet.”

  “Sally, I ain’t got a lifetime left. Even if I were to admit to anything, it’s too late for me. I’m too old.”

  “Is that why you keep saying that? You’re wrong, Ruth, it’s never too late for love. You’ve been successful in everything you’ve done in your life, except one. Love. You’ve tried doing it your parents way and it was a dismal failure, both times. Now do it your way. For God’s sake, you’re fifty-six, soon to be fifty-seven years old. You deserve to be loved.”

  “One question. Why didn’t you tell me back then. Why now?”

  “Why now? Because you’re old and you haven’t got a lot of time left.”

  Ruth’s jaw dropped open.

  “Gotcha! Seriously, I’m tired of you being lonely when you don’t have to be. You’re so busy, hiding who you are inside, that you don’t see that beautiful woman’s eyes light up, when she looks at you. You don’t see her head turn, as you walk by. I’ve seen it happen more than once. Damn it, I want you to see that too. I want you to be that woman!”

  “Okay, okay. I hear you.”

  “And?”

  “And I’ll give it some thought.”

  “Good. Now, it’s your turn to pay the check.”

  “There’s always a catch with you, isn’t there?”

  “Yep, that’s why they pay me the big bucks. Well, everyone except you, that is.”

  “So you’re saying I’m the smartest one of them all?”

  Sally laughed and smacked her best friend on the arm.

  ***

  Aidan walked over, and stood in front of Vicky, holding her at arm’s length. “It is not what you think, Vicky. Do you hear me? It is not what you think!” Vicky looked up at Aidan with eyes so sad, that Aidan gasped, “Oh, God, no baby! I am not choosing her over you. Oh God, what a fucking idiot I am…, SHIT!” Aidan was so mad at herself, that she had to walked away in order to get control of her emotions.

  “Damn it, Aidan, just spit it out, and get it over with.”

  “Baby, I’m not in love with her, anymore.”

  “Anymore? How do you know Aidan? How could you possibly know that for sure?”

  Aidan looked at her fragile lover, and said with all sincerity, “Because my memories of her came back the day Jerry first came here.” Aidan flashed back to the day she walked into Vicky’s office, and was introduced to then SPC Gerald Williams. At first, Aidan didn’t remember Jerry, that memory came later. But when he mentioned Sam, those memories of her came flooding back, almost instantly.

  “I’ve known all this time, but I wanted to wait until I could propose to you, so you’d know how much I love you, how much I wanted you.” She waited, hoping for some understanding, but when Vicky didn’t say anything, Aidan resorted to begging, “Please, Vicky…, please…?”

  “Why? Why read the letter now? What aren’t you saying, Aidan?”

  Aidan led her back to the couch, were they sat apart, facing each other, “Okay, first I know I’ve handled this whole thing really badly. I’m a stupid ass, and I’m so sorry. I read the letter, because I wanted you to know about Sam, about what she meant to me.”

  Vicky’s eyes welled up again, “This is not helping, Aidan.”

  Aidan ran her hand through her tangled bangs, and chastised herself again, “Ah shit! God, why can’t this be easy.”

  Vicky was getting frustrated with Aidan’s frustration, “Aidan, answer me one question.”

  “Anything, Vick,” Please, please let me say the right thing now!

  “Do you still love me enough to want to marry me?”

  “Oh, hell yeah, baby. There was never any doubt in my mind, please believe that.”

  Vicky could finally pull air back into her lungs, as the thousand pound weight lifted from her chest, “Then tell me what you want to tell me, please. Before my dream proposal becomes my worst nightmare.”

  “Okay, here goes…,” Aidan tried to swallow, but her mouth was too dry. “I found out Sam is still alive, and is being held captive, I think in Iraq, or Afghanistan. I want to go get her.”

  “You? You want to go over there and…, you’re not serious?” But Vicky knew Aidan was completely serious, before she asked her. “Okay, you’re serious, but why you, Aidan?”

  “Because I left her behind, and that goes against the soldier’s code, against everything I stand for. Plus it’s been over a year, and they have not, or will not get her out of there, so it’s up to me.”

  “What do you mean, soldier’s code?

  Aidan thought for a moment, and decided to explain it in a language Vicky would understand easier. “Remember when you helped out that nurse and her husband? Their insurance had ran out, so you paid for
his surgery, but you did it anonymously? Why did you do that, I mean she was just an employee, right?”

  “Yes, but she was part of my team, she needed help, and I couldn’t not help her…, oh…,” she looked up at Aidan, “Okay, I think I understand.”

  “And she was just an acquaintance, imagine if she were your lover, and—”

  “Okay, I get it!” Vicky didn’t care to hear any more about her lover’s lover, not now anyway, “So how would you do it?”

  “Well, when we were on the Maggie O’Hare show, President Trenton said to call him anytime, if I needed help. At first I blew it off. I mean, me, calling the President?”

  President Jackson Trenton already had a long history with Victoria Ann Montgomery. His mother had a heart attack, when Trenton was in his second term in office, and Vicky was a young nurse fresh out of college, who cared for her. Perhaps it was her youth that made her so brash, because even the President’s secret service men, took orders from her. Then just last month, Trenton himself, was the patient, after he had a heart attack. It was during Trenton’s hospital stay, that an assassination attempt was made on his life. It was part of the terrorist plot to hold the hospital hostage, that Vicky and Aidan help thwart, but at great personal costs to them, both emotionally and physically. Trenton personally pinned the Presidential Medal of Freedom on Aidan, for taking a bullet while stopping the would be assassin.

  “But then, I talked to him yesterday, right before the ceremony.

  “Really? You were so nervous, that I’m surprised you had the ability to speak to anyone.” Vicky teased Aidan, remembering how special that moment was. “What did he say?”

  “He put me in touch with some people who will train me and my team.”

  “Your team?”

  “Yeah, I can’t do it alone. I need a couple of people to help me, so I have to put a team together. It’ll be strictly volunteers, since the government will deny any knowledge of it. Anyway, these people that Trenton hooked me up with—”